Suspended Animation

One could only put themselves under so much pressure. My mind is ready but the physical body refuses; disaster ensues.

Pulled a hamstring while trying out fartleks, sprained my ankle while playing football and strained my calf while swimming, all in a week. Instead of nightly runs, I'm bounded to the house icing my injuries.

Mornings are the worst. Whenever I see a runner, my heart cringes and I look at them in envy and disdain; knowing fully that could be me if not for this incapable exterior. It's been a week since my last run and I am officially clinically depressed.

She calls it crazy, I'd say it's a better drug than nicotine. Speaking of which, I'm smoke-free for half a year now. 

10K

Been running regularly these past few weeks. I can't even count the number of times I keep telling myself to stop, take a breather, rest, take a shortcut, run another day, I need to rest early for school tomorrow and tons of other excuses not to run.

Not succumbing to these excuses made me feel so much better after a run. I look forward to the end, constantly. But, during these runs, there's one thing I noticed about people. They are inconsiderate, rude and downright daft.

I need to set a goal. A marathon I suppose? I'll think about it. As of now, running is my avenue to destress from the pressure of studying.

With An Empty Heart

Nearly a year has past since the last post and the only thing getting more rigorous is my heart.  I am one person at home, another with the parents, various other personalities depending on which colleagues I am with, and even have an online personality.

All I want to do is stick my head out and make a difference, but I fear. I am scared. Scared of perceptions, scared of repercussions. I am locked into the machine in which I have made to feel ashamed of what I am doing.

A cog, just another one; that's what I am, now.